Why Do Mexicans Rape So Much?

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Dear Mexican: So often when we see Mexican bands perform in the U.S. and Mexico, the crowd at some point starts chanting "¡Cu-le-ro!" ("Ass-hole!"). Why does the crowd yell "Cu-le-ro" at a band that they seemingly adore? Need Más Earplugs

Dear Pocho: "People yelling 'Cu-le-ro' doesn't happen at every concert," says Javier Castellanos, legendary Latin-music promoter. "It's more of the chilango (people from Mexico City) crowd — they're always a bit more rambunctious. And it's not just for any kind of music. It's usually the heavier, more metal stuff." Culero is the Mexican Bronx cheer. We use it to taunt anybody we think is acting haughty. Cu-le-ro is a reminder that nothing is safe from criticism in Mexico — except the Virgin of Guadalupe and the right to enter the United States illegally, of course.

I've been on sex-offender registry websites a couple of times, and it seems there are a lot of names ending with -ez. Is there an elevated rate of sexual deviancy amongst Mexicans? If so, why? El Güero Guapísimo

Dear Super-Handsome, Light-Skinned Gabacho: Methinks you doth look for brownies too much. But I don't blame you. Turn on the television and radio, and you're likely to hear anti-immigrant pendejos screech about how Mexicans will rape you while stealing your job and playing banda music really loud. You'll probably hear them invoke the work of Dr. Deborah Schurman-Kauflin. Her 2006 paper "The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One Million Sex Crimes Committed by Illegal Immigrants in the United States" came to some startling conclusions, not least of which is that there are 240,000 illegal-immigrant sex offenders in this country, and that 93 of these cretins enter this country daily.

Schurman-Kauflin based her findings on a 2005 Government Accountability Office survey that showed 2 percent of illegals in prisons had committed a sex crime. She applied that percentage to the illegal immigrant population at large. This statistical sleight of hand withers by employing the very stats she uses. GAO data for 2003 showed about 308,000 criminal aliens were in American prisons; they constitute about 3 percent of the nation's 12 million illegal immigrants. If only 2 percent of incarcerated illegals committed a sex crime, then the 240,000 figure is.

In 2003, gabachos incarcerated for sex crimes represented about 18 percent of all gabacho inmates in state prisons; perverted Hispanics made up just 11 percent.